Memphis: Two quick points.
ONE - You state:
> Most search engine placement / traffic consultants are scam artists, so that's out.
I don't know if I would go so far as to say "most" SEO consultants are scam artists, but you're right, there are quite a few. That said, the right company can do wonders for your site. Don't be too jaded and overlook a good possibility.
TWO - I can't tell you how many times I have to keep reminding my clients -- there's a whole world beyond the reach of your keyboard!
Your web site is a PERFECT candidate for Guerrilla Marketing. You're regionally based -- all of the traffic you really care about is in the city of Memphis. That makes it really easy for you to get their attention.
Go to Staples, buy a ream of pink paper ($5) and a box of staples ($3). Print up a ton of flyers that say "WWW.WebKiss101.com", then staple them to every telephone pole in the city.
Also see if you can get the local bars to tape them to the window. That's where the singles hang out, right?
Take out a personal ad in whatever your "local scene" rag is (ever city has one). Just put something like "Find Mr. Right at www.WebKiss101.com. The Ad will probably cost you about $5.
Go back to Staples (OfficeMax, Kinko's, etc.) and get business cards printed up for $19.95. Hand them out to EVERYONE. Tack them to every community bulletin board at Subway, Blimpies & Quisnos.
Print up Table Tents that say www.WebKiss101.com and leave them on every table in the cafeteria of the local Colleges. College Students = Single + Young + Web Users + Horny. Your target audience again.
See? There are dozens of things you can do "on the cheap" to attract attention to your web site, and none of them involve search engines, pop-ups, pop-unders or paying per click.
Good luck.
Bryan