1. If all your costs are reimbursed (e.g. you deduct your shipping cost from the refund) and the goods are still in the original condition when returned to you and saleable to someone else (i.e. not superceded models etc.), then I would refund the money up to 45 days or so (but say in your store "30 days" moneyback). OK, it's a pain that you have to restock the product but goodwill is important.
2. IMO, practically speaking, it is the merchant's responsibility if items are damaged. An option to try could be to offer insurance at the time of checkout and in no uncertain terms notify the customer if they choose not to insure their goods then they are responsible for damage. howver, this is rather unfriendly and IMO is likely to lead to a substantial reduction in sales so this leads to my comment that "practically speaking, it is the merchant's responsibility if items are damaged".
3. Have you checked out PayPal?
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