crash
Insider
Joined: Dec 02, 2003
# Posts: 10626
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Posted: 01/09/2002 02:02 pm
ROFLMAO!!
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formerskeptic
Joined: Oct 05, 2001
# Posts: 281
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Posted: 01/13/2002 12:41 am
You know you're a webmaster if...
...you're still fiddling around with your computer at the age of 80....it takes a <b>TRAUMATIC</b> event (e.g lose a loved one, surfer a stroke, world war 3) to snap you out of this Chronic "Web Fever" ...the internet some how vanished and you saw no reason to live anymore thus committed suicide. (it could happen you know) ...you web based mailbox has no less than 100 emails everyday. ...the optometrist and/or opthamologist tell you to get a life before it's too late. 
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excell
Moderator
Joined: Mar 19, 2001
# Posts: 14502
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Posted: 01/13/2002 01:29 am
formerskeptic
that is tooooo funny!
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excell
Moderator
Joined: Mar 19, 2001
# Posts: 14502
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Posted: 01/17/2002 05:37 am
...u grit your teeth as another system bites the dust and you order up your 6th in a year while explaining to your accountant that in *this* industry it is not depeciation over X years but an item such as stationery is and is totally written off at the time of purchase.
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hcstudios
Joined: Jan 12, 2001
# Posts: 166
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Posted: 01/17/2002 07:23 am
Oh, excell -- you're soooo right. That's why I do my own taxes, because we are constantly killing computers and have to buy new ones each year and accountants want to depreciate over 5 years (or more). My current HP is the longest-lived computer I've ever had, just about 1.5 years old and should die any day now. So, back to the topic...you know you're a webmaster if...you're trying to figure out how to make a nice yard sculpture out of all your old dead monitors. (Hey, they made fish tanks out of 512K macs, so why not yard art?) ....you want your accountant to classify computers as "small tools". (This one is a little esoteric - you have to actually understand how the IRS classifies small tools to get it.) ....you *haven't* updated your copyright notices on your web site yet because you've been too busy reading SEF to update your own site!
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 01/17/2002 09:03 am
... you intentionally turn off your virus scanner and check your email, which leads to a corrupted system and you convicne your family that it would be better to buy a new computer because the damage is so severe.I hope my wife doesn't read this thread or I'll be in really big trouble.
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 01/17/2002 09:07 am
... you love nature and enjoy the birds filling your yard, but instead of going outside to enjoy them, you fall for an X-10 pop-up and order an outdoor wireless web cam an enjoy them on-line.BTW: Doing this requires that you record the bird action to your hard drive since there seems to be no way to get these little creatures to perform at night when real webmasters are hard at work. Silly birds. Thanks for the coffee pot trick. For mine I actually have to walk 7 feet into another room and this will save me several minutes each day. 
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 01/17/2002 09:13 am
... if your family turns off the main power switch for the house in order to get you to come to dinner.TIP: battery back up power supplies foil this method of attack.
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Jim
Joined: Eons Ago
# Posts: 5442
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Posted: 01/17/2002 09:19 am
... you become concerned that you are not popular any more when the volume of spam falls off.
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Sinoed
Moderator
Joined: Dec 11, 2000
# Posts: 5266
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Posted: 01/17/2002 11:47 am
.. if your basement looks like a display out of the museum of modern technological history complete with spare 5 1/2" drives and power cables for your first system that look like they came from the Niagara Power Commission
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jkcity
Joined: Mar 16, 2001
# Posts: 3230
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Posted: 01/18/2002 07:54 am
You know you're a webmaster if you have read all 8 pages of this topic.
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excell
Moderator
Joined: Mar 19, 2001
# Posts: 14502
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Posted: 01/18/2002 08:00 am
page nine and going strong
... if you spend 3weeks in finding the *right* solution for a complex solution for a script yet charge only 50 bucks for the client to use it because it will be invaluable to re-use in the future *maybe*
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formerskeptic
Joined: Oct 05, 2001
# Posts: 281
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Posted: 01/18/2002 11:22 pm
...you come home and find everthing in the house GONE because you spouse can't hack it anymore. Only thing remaining is your computer, chair, desk and the mountain of garbage pilled up on top of it. (true story)  ...you cannot bear the thought of tearing yourself away from your computer, so when your partner want's to make love, you set up 2 webams, one in the bedroom and the other on top of your computer, then cyber away. ...you take pride in labelling yourself as one.  ...you're anticipating on page 10 of this thread.
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Garrett
Joined: Feb 11, 2001
# Posts: 62
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Posted: 01/19/2002 12:23 am
Hey, I smell a non-webmaster in this thread!! Someone mentioned using Web Based Email!! No real webmaster uses web based email!! A real webmaster has at least 5 or more pop/smtp accounts.... I Only have 14 right now, but I'm always looking to add another if need be.  Best regards,
-Garrett
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excell
Moderator
Joined: Mar 19, 2001
# Posts: 14502
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Posted: 01/19/2002 01:03 am
formerskeptic
that's a dirty great big ouch on point one
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Lazerzubb
Joined: Jul 12, 2001
# Posts: 1977
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Posted: 01/19/2002 02:02 am
If your friends (If you have anyone left) always ask you why you don't have any money Or If your friends always ask you, why you always have so much money
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jkcity
Joined: Mar 16, 2001
# Posts: 3230
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Posted: 01/19/2002 02:09 am
Lazerzubb friends what are those?I only know screen names.
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excell
Moderator
Joined: Mar 19, 2001
# Posts: 14502
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Posted: 01/19/2002 02:14 am
...if you truly do have friends on-line and can indeed rely on them more than the physical bods around you
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crash
Insider
Joined: Dec 02, 2003
# Posts: 10626
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Posted: 01/19/2002 05:58 am
You talk about your friends online as if the existed in the physical world and everyone should know them.. "...and then excell said ... wasn't that funny!" and the physical ppl just stare at you wondering if you need psychiatric help :/
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crash
Insider
Joined: Dec 02, 2003
# Posts: 10626
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Posted: 01/19/2002 01:33 pm
Webmaster's Rules01) I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
02) I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound as they go flying by.
03) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you
how to get along without it.
04) Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are thestatue.
05) Never under-estimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
06) I don't have an attitude problem. You
just have a perception problem.
07) Last night I lay in bed looking up to
the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?
08) My reality check bounced.
09) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10) I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11) You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
12) Everybody is someone else's weirdo.
13) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
14) Never argue with an idiot, they'll just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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